Pediatrics recommends a number of alternatives to spanking, including taking toys and privileges away and the age-old technique of time-out. Sege said the techniques depend on the child's age. "During the first year what infants need to learn is love," Sege said in a prior interview, "while they discover their new abilities such as crying and making messes. So parents should distract, by giving them other things to do that are less disruptive or picking them up and moving them to a different place. That's all they can do." As kids grow to toddlers and persist in doing things you don't want, he said, the best technique is to tap into their need for attention. These are the countries where spanking is illegal "Toddlers crave their parent's attention, so use that to your advantage," Sege said. "Pay attention to the things your children do that are wonderful; reward them for those with praise. Then when they do something you don't like, put them in time-out and take the attention away. Use that. That's how time-outs work." As children get older, he suggests letting them learn the natural consequences of their behaviors. "Instead of shielding, help them learn the lesson, as long as they are not in danger," Sege said. "Things like, 'You didn't put your toys away, so instead of playing, you have to clean them up before we can play.' It takes parents out of the loop." Teenagers, he said, also need to learn to take responsibility for their actions. Get Health's weekly newsletter Sign up here to get The Results Are In with Dr. Sanjay Gupta every Tuesday from the Health team. "And you do that by calling them out on their behavior and its consequences and then help them figure out how to resolve those consequences. "It's hard, because it requires, at least at first, a level of mindfulness and thought on what you are doing as a parent," Sege said. "Parenting isn't easy. The good thing is that our children excuse us for the mistakes we make." PAID CONTENT Iron Man’
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